Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
Yes, dying. For nine months I had been going back and forth to the doctor, who kept insisting I was having some sort of allergic reaction. I was retaining a great deal of fluid, gaining over twenty pounds in four weeks. My legs were grotesquely swollen, my ankles aching whenever I stood much less walked. A nasty, suppurating red rash covered both legs, my forearms and my abdomen. I was fatigued to the point where it was almost too much trouble to breathe. The doctor kept giving me mild antibiotics, creams, took chest x-rays and blood work. At last the doc suggested that I start taking Zantac to help manage the allergic reactions and finally gave me an appoint with an infectious disease doctor. That specialist took one look at the blood work and asked me if I knew I had Type II diabetes, then ruled out any infection. Nothing seemed to be the answer, nothing seemed to be helping. Tired of going to the doctors, surrounded by boxes and debris from the move in July, worried about how long my new job was going to put up with my problems, the post I put on Facebook on this day in 2009 made it clear that I was at the end of my rope and giving up. For the first time in my life, I was so tired and so worn out I couldn’t even think past just getting through the next day.
And then my daughter stepped in. Realizing that the doctor I had been going to had totally ignored the blood sugar issue and hadn’t resolved anything in nine months, and worried that perhaps I had been misdiagnosed, she took me to the medical office where she was going. Physically drove me there and stayed with me during the visit. And we learned exactly what was wrong, that for nine months an untreated MRSA infection had been ravaging my body. The strong antibiotics kicked my tucas and sent me to bed, but for the first time in months, the rashes started fading. And I started taking medication and watching my diet to manage the type II diabetes.
There have been lingering problems from this episode. The main one is that once a body has been colonized with MRSA, you cannot get rid of it completely, so now and then a rash pops up. This seems to happen mostly on my legs so I usually wear slacks or maxi skirts to hide the sores rather than dresses. My ankles never did recover; I can no longer wear my high heels, and my feet swell to gross proportions rather quickly these days. This sometimes makes walking or standing difficult, which curtails my activity. My body adjusted to the large doses of Zantac and every attempt to wean myself off them results in incredible indigestion. I have to manage sugar and carbs intake very actively. And needless to say, I permanently changed doctors. In fact, if I was more litigious I swear I would sue that doctor who so mistreated me for nine months!
I don’t think it is an exaggeration to say my daughter saved my life six years ago, and I have thanked her many times for her intervention. And since then? Well for one thing, I question the doctor a lot more – he may be an expert but it is my health. For another, I am very aware of just how patient bossman was with a new employee having so many problems and have a great deal of loyalty to him and to the place where I am now employed. And lastly, I have been a lot more determined than ever to LIVE my life MY way
Ah the issue of the double space after punctuation that dates me so surely!
" " is the unerring result in html of this indulgence that was once taught as a necessity, drilled into us relentlessly while learning typing to the point where I don't even think twice about it. And that is what surely dates me and everyone else who double-spaces automatically after ending a sentence [or using a colon for that matter]. It is the gap that looms between those of us who learned to type on a typewriter and those who learned on a keyboard. It highlights the gap between those who are expatriates to the digital realm and those who are digital natives. In short? It is a generational divide that causes all kinds of controversy online and off. The issue crops up now and then, and there are downright rabid supporters on both sides.
Sooner or later in your 2nd Life, whether it is in a group or in a virtual world such as Second Life, you are going to be asked this question about who and where you are in what we so laughingly call real life [or analog existence or meat space, if you are trying to be all hip and stuff]. Described by the Urban Dictionary as the “mating call of the barely post-pubescent teenager”, it is considered a rather rude question, so most do their screening by asking the same question with more subtleness, but with the same need to know.
Location: This can be a very valid concern and isn’t always a “hey can we meet up” request, although if someone is searching in their 2nd life for a permanent connection, it can be. While our 2nd lives have enabled us to create connections around the world, it cannot erase the impact of people living in different time zones. I have been partnered with someone who lived in England, and the difference between GMT and EST is five hours – except for a week in the spring and fall when they are off Daylight Savings Time and we are still on it. That gap can be a relationship inhibiter. When he got up in the morning, I was asleep. When I got up in the morning, he was at work. When he got off from work, I was still at work. When I got home from work, he was about to call it a day. We stayed together for a year, and then we were done.
Sex: I have been known to answer this one with a simple “yes” or “no”, but the person asking wants to know what gender you are “really”. Usually this indicates that you are dealing with someone who is worried about dealing with a man masquerading as a woman or a female posing as a man. This can be a tough question for those who are DID – do you tell the person what gender the host body is or the alter? And what if you are transgender and wish to present yourself as your desired gender rather than your current one, how do you reply? Many people become pansexual, feeling that love and intimacy in our 2nd lives [and that might spill over into the “first” life as well, although it might not] are not dependent on which genitalia your partner possesses. Pixel porn aside, most of the sex online is dependent on words – your ability to form an intense connection with your partner by emoting. Your minds and imaginations are connecting, and that gives rise to an entire group of people who claim sapeiosexuality – being turned on physically by intellect rather than visualizations. Although I tend to have female avatars, and really am hopeless with the one male alt that I have, I strongly identify with that latter group – it is all about your beautiful mind.
Age: Wanting to know how old you are in your first life when you are interacting with someone in their 2nd Life. There are some good reasons to verify that the person you are with is not a minor, neh? Sometimes there are cultural gaps that loom ahead due to different life experiences as well, and it may be a good idea to be aware of that possibility. Beyond that, this question is a clear indication that someone does not want to be intimate with you if you are half their age or old enough to be their parental unit. Now, to my mind, if we have connected, if we resonate with each other, enjoy spending time together, laugh in the same language, our age does not make any difference, just as our physical appearance is irrelevant. Not everyone agrees, however, and yes I have been rejected on that basis alone.
So answering anyone of these three questions can stop an aborning relationship cold. On my part? I have asked about time zones after my experience with the one partner – it isn’t a bar but it is something to be aware of as expectations are established. I can honestly say that I have never screened on the basis of gender or age.
Oh! I don’t mean the ringing in the ears, although yes I have that too, I am talking about the low hum of a tape that plays in the back of your mind. Sometimes it is just a quiet whrrrrr, sometimes it shouts so loud that you cannot hear others around you. It drones on and on, and can be especially annoying at 3am in the morning when you have awoken for some reason and are desperately trying to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. It never has nice things to say, not about you, not about others in your life, not about events, not about the world in general. It is an annoying combo of worry about the little things, a running commentary on stuff, and usually some pretty harsh self-judgments. Examples?
Glad I reported the leak starting out in the hall by the elevator. Worried that they will shut off the A/C to do the repairs though
Why haven’t I heard from ______________ [friend, or family or love interest]
The new lights in the garage at work seem so dim! Will I feel safe walking out here when the sun is going down earlier? Maybe I should park closer – wait there is the building maintenance man, I’ll ask him. Oh no, he thinks I’m whining.
Do I really look as fat as I feel in this top? And this jewelry just doesn’t work as well as I thought it would with this outfit
Bossman closed his door and is discussing personnel matters – am I in trouble?
Oh it is clouding over, will I make it home before it rains? [or snows or whatever depending on the season].
I’d like to think it is just that this mirror is unflattering, but maybe I am just plain.
THE PAST – yeah in capital letters. Choices made, choices lived with, friends and loves lost. No regrets, but OMG the questions of would’ve, should’ve, could’ve
How am I going to get everything done?
I forgot. They [co-worker, friend, family] remembered. OMG, is this the beginning, am I getting Alzheimer’s?
What if I get sick?
How am I going to pay for _______ [vacation, car, tech, clothing, whatever]
Why is someone calling my cell phone and not leaving a message?
If I decide not to worry about something and stop thinking about it, is it lurking in the background so that I am worrying about it anyway?
Why doesn’t this background droning say all kinds of cheerful stuff? Does this mean I am depressed?
Is my older cat okay being by himself all day? What if he isn’t relaxing and happy, what if he is depressed and lonely or in pain and I don’t know it?
Why do people keep following me and then un-following on Twitter? G+? Facebook? Pinterest? Is it something I am saying or not saying?
Now do I consciously stew about these things? Nope, and if they bubble up to the top of my consciousness I dismiss them and quash the impetus of stewing or over-thinking [admittedly sometimes with more success than others]. But the ease and constancy of their appearance, including the quick way I was able to make a list for this blog post, indicates that the background murmur is always lurking there, ready to surge forward and overwhelm me at any time.
I need a reboot, methinks…. Is there an app for that?
Remember when you were a kid, and you groused “when I grow up no one is going to make me ___________.....”. Fill in the blank – go to bed early. Or eat stuff you don’t like. Or work where you don’t want. Or do a job you don’t like. Or …. well you get the gist of it. When you grew up and started working, no one was going to tell you how to spend your money and you were going to live where you wanted to and buy everything you wanted. Sure your parents said that “money didn’t grow on trees”, but if you were working, then you would have money, right?
And it doesn’t work that way, now does it, unless you are born in the 1%. Perhaps the first inkling was when the money from your part-time job became food on the table for the family instead of spare change in your pocket. Perhaps the first gut check was when you were thinking about going to college, and then you found out where you could actually afford. Somewhere along the line, you realized that your income was going to limit your outgo.
But hey, you are getting up and working hard every day. Life goes on, and you want nice things. You want to be able to buy furniture, tech, clothing, toys. You want to be able to go on vacation, give presents to your friends and family, take trips. So you turn to credit cards. It starts out simple, you are getting a bonus so you decide to take a trip and you put it on the card because you can pay it off right away. The car needs repairs and you put it on the card. The cat needs to go to the vet and you put it on the card. You go shopping and buy new clothes, and you put it on the card. At first, you manage to pay the card down to $0 each month, then you start carrying a balance for a couple of months, then suddenly you realize you cannot pay off the debt and can barely handle the monthly payments – credit card debt has become a supplement to your salary. And maybe you are late on one card, and your rate goes sharply up. Once a rate goes up, it never goes back down, did you know that? The other cards see this and suddenly all your credit cards are high rates and the chance of you ever getting the principal reduced is almost nil….
And what happens if you get sick? What happens if you lose your job? What happens if someone else needs your help? You start worrying about money, about what will happen when you cannot make a payment on the credit cards, or the car, or the house/apartment. You try to cut back, but everyone has emergencies that crop up and everyone has dagnabbit moments. and the card balances keep growing. You think about bankruptcy. And you just get flummoxed because you are working, you are doing everything you can and yet you are still starting to have to make choices that impact your daily quality of life: Between paying for prescriptions or going to the dentist. Between stocking the freezer with food and paying the auto insurance. Between getting the cat care and getting a test done on yourself.
And you look back and wonder what happened…..
You know that you are not alone. You know only the 1% live lives without this happening to them. But you don’t know what to do or how to fix it so that working for a living lets folks live.
In the United States, it is the official end to summer, pools close and boardwalk businesses shutter after this first Monday in September. Back in the day, it signaled that school was starting -- these days most public schools and universities have already begun classes, but the Thursday after Labor Day used to be the first day of school. And according to the fashion police, it is time to put away the white clothing -- no more white shoes, handbags, pants, skirts, dresses, etc. And no more straw either, no straw bags or hats.
It was designed to be a holiday to celebrate the worker, the person who made the wheels of industry turn. The Department of Labor defines it as: "a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country." It is a celebration of the triumph of unions, those organizations that stood against the robber barons and wrested concessions that we take for granted today:
safety in the workplace
40 hour work week and weekends off
overtime and holiday pay
paid sick leave
paid vacations
a sustainable minimum wage
pensions
Despite the yowling of pain and complaints that these things were the end of businesses, who couldn't possibly afford these luxuries, organizations throve and grew, people got rich and then richer. And you know what? Unions may have become corrupt and greedy, but without themnot a single one of those concessions would've been made. And the robber barons of today are doing their best to implement changes that will reverse all of these benefits in the name of "prosperity", ignoring the fact that their policies are decimating what was a strong, robust middle class. Trickle down economics, the increase in contract employment without any benefits, treating the service industry workers as little more than serfs, claims that "they" are just lazy and that is why "they" are broke, the elimination of pensions, forced retirement.... The list goes on and on as the worker is no longer considered an asset, but a cost to be managed and curtailed in the name of the bottom line.
So while you are enjoying this day off, take a minute to think about all those folks who are still working today, not because they want time-and-a-half overtime pay, but because they have to in order to keep their jobs. While you plan for a cook-out or a parade, take a minute to look, really LOOK at the candidates who are running for office and decide if they are really there to make things better for you or whether they are in it for a rich fat-cat payoff. And remember those steelworkers, miners and seamstresses who went on strike when it wasn't safe to do so, and thank them.... We could use some of their fire and dedication today, neh?
I used to go shopping at the mall and look at all the people walking around, and wonder why in the world THAT person thought it was okay to come out in public looking like THAT ((all the while muttering a heartfelt prayer that no one was looking at ME as critically as I was viewing others)). And if it was an older woman I was glancing at, I resolved that I was never going to look like my grandmothers, I would never wear:
Knee high stockings with dresses and/or skirts
Frizzy died red hair
Baggy pants
Shapeless, boxy tops
Three-quarter sleeve jackets
Orthopedic-looking shoes
I was going to rock the gray look when my time came. I was going to wear heels and dress professionally sharp when I was at work. And when I was off or it was permitted to dress down, I was going to be fashionably casual. No one was ever going to look at ME and say I looked …. frumpy. Not me!
You can see where this is going, right?
Knee high stockings with dresses and/or skirts – yes I have worn them under maxi floor-length skirts because I have gotten used to not wearing stockings. Besides, you ever tried to put on support hose? Not only does it look yucky, it is a wrestling match to get it up the legs and over the tummy!
Frizzy dyed red hair – gray makes my florid complexion look raddled and coarse. And on top of it, my hair is so thin that it resembles a comb-over in places! So yeah, I not only color my hair the original red tint, but I have a defiant streak of Jessica Rabbit red right there in front.
Baggy pants – comfortable. Besides, I lost some weight and haven’t figured out my size yet
Shapeless, boxy tops - see #3
Three-quarter sleeve jackets – I liked the outfit, okay? It is purple, it is lightweight cotton, it matches with the pants and the top. Besides, I don’t want sleeves that are too short anymore and long sleeves annoy me sometimes
Orthopedic-looking shoes – I don’t know why instead of getting varicose veins, I got ankles that puff up until my feet look like they belong to a marshmallow woman. But one side effect is that I cannot wear heels anymore and have you seen the selection of flats in wide sizes? Limited doesn’t begin to describe it.
It is harder to feel warm and vital and attractive in clothing [or out of it for that matter, or is that TMI?] these days. I’m sorry, Grandmom, I really am. I just didn’t understand and the young are always judgmental…. And if I see one of you whippersnappers snickering at me at the mall? I will flip you the bird. Just saying.
Today Word Porn [ https://twitter.com/wordsporn ] cautions: "Pay attention to things people say to you when they're angry."
Interesting – that is exactly what my mother used to tell me all the time. Heaven help you if you lost your temper and said something in the heat of an argument, she had a memory like the proverbial elephant, never forgetting and certainly never forgiving. What you said would be repeated again and again, sometimes years later – in my 50’s I was still getting reminded that at six years old, I told her I hoped I was adopted because I didn’t like her. My second husband, Gem’s father, agreed with her that when you are angry, you are more likely to reveal how you really feel, and once again, anything said could and would be used against you.
Perhaps because of my mother, and acknowledging my own quick temper for I am very much like a thunderstorm, I always felt that what was said in anger was not always valid. When a person has lost their temper and is lashing out, I have found that most are willing to say some pretty cutting things just to rend and make you feel the same pain that they are feeling. When the tumult has passed, there should be a clearing of the air to make sure that there aren’t lingering hard feelings, resentments or buried truths, I agree. But I have chosen through the years to believe that some of the hard things said to me by parents, ex-husbands and even my kids [not to mention co-workers and managers] isn’t an accurate reflection of how they “really” feel. I have chosen to believe the words that are spoken calmly rather than those thrown in anger and/or frustration.
Of course, when I shared this stance with my mother she promptly informed me that I was wrong, I should take to heart what I was being told during arguments and failing to do so was simply delusional on my part. How could I change for the better, she asked, when I refused to hear negatives just because folks got so frustrated with my blindness that they had to shout at me? It is a question that still haunts me to this day.
So, question of the day: do you believe that people are more apt to tell the truth when they are mad at you?
There wasn’t any actual reason that I could see. I was walking along and suddenly lost my balance and fell to the ground, bruising my knee and elbow and scaring myself. I think that I might’ve tripped over my flip flops as I was walking rather briskly, not watching where I put my feet as I stepped up on a curb. This isn’t the first time that I have suddenly lost my balance in the past months – there are times when I have lurched and bumped into a doorway, or staggered when I got up from a chair quickly, or almost tripped over Kula. It doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about, but it does make me feel old.
It isn’t just physically that I have tripped. In both my 2nd Life and my so-called “real” life, I have noticed that I lose my balance more easily emotionally. Last year I had to downsize my property in Nowhereville and I got very emotional, in fact, I became a major PITA.. And dealing with technology and insurance definitely leaves me feeling querulous these days. And in both “lives”, interactions that wouldn’t phase me at all in the past now keep coming back up and nagging at me, creating a niggling, insecure feeling that I could’ve handled that one better. I find that I am less able to initiate conversations, am less relaxed about being accepted,, more concerned about what others think and more apt to take things as being about me that have nothing to do with me.
If I am losing balance now, what will happen in twenty years or so? When my grandchildren finish high school, I will be over 80 years old, and I am afraid that I will be “doppley” or senile [as we used to call those with Alzheimer’s] rather than a vital and loving part of their lives. The specters of both my maternal grandmother and my mother loom over me, increasing the sensitivity to every change, adding to my worry about my physical and mental balance. Is this the first signs of the start of dementia? Will I deteriorate the way that I watched both of them descend into incompetence?
I just have this feeling that I need to be working on “growing old gracefully” [as we used to say] – that that for me, starts by being mindful of keeping an even keel, both physically and emotionally.
As I said before, I have always shared an eclectic mix of information, whimsy, opinions, and news in every online community where I have been a member. On this day in 2012, instead of posting things to Facebook [this was pre-Twitter], I decided to post the links I usually share here. The picture is gone – CeoExpress only lets me link to a picture rather than permitting me to upload it so I have no control over that little piece of content – but I thought I would repeat the experiment today. Here a random sampling of the things that got my attention and sparked my interest:
There is a feeling that washes over me when I am dealing with bureaucracy and technology -- either one that isn’t doing what I thought it should be or would be doing.
I feel out of control and therefore haplessly at the mercy of some stranger who is faceless. It is a combination of frustration, anger, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, incredulity that this is happening to me, a feeling of strong injustice, fretting about what will happen, peeved at the inconvenience, complaining, all topped off with a dollop of despair. I am bewildered, befuddled' and ready to whine and cry [not necessarily in that order], totally unable to figure out what the next step should be.
When does this happen? Like when one SSA says one thing and the IRS says another. Like when the computer suddenly refuses to boot up when it had been working just fine. Like when the car starter just goes “click click” instead of the engine going “varoom”. Like when the insurance company says the prescription company has your info but the prescription company says the insurance company has it and neither of them show you having coverage. Like when somebody repeats something you just said and the whole group ignores what you said and reacts to them instead.
I was stopped by the police today for a traffic violation. *grumble*
Oh it was my fault. I had made a turn onto a neighborhood road at 8:15AM and the sign does say that turns should not be made until after 8:30AM on weekdays, so I knew that I was in the wrong. The policeman was in an unmarked care, had others pulled over, and was alone. When he pulled me over, I sighed, stopped behind the other cars he had pulled over, and glumly put my car in park. It was hot, so I left the engine running, which means the radio was playing and the A/C blowing. He walked up to the window I had opened, identified himself, informed me of my infraction, and requested my drivers’ license and vehicle registration. As I twisted around to get my pocketbook out of the back seat, I could see that he was watching me carefully and his hand was on his gun. I handed him the information. He walked away. After sitting in his car for a bit, he came back with a warning and a short lecture, then waved me on my way.
Now granted I did not bluster or get angry or say anything other than “Yes, sir” the entire time. Granted after I fished out the information requested, I dropped the pocketbook back on the backseat floor, and kept my hands in full view. This is the way I always react around any law enforcement officer – even the NSA at the airport – they are polite to me and I am polite to them. Granted there was nothing wrong with the car, or the documentation. Granted it was in full daylight and a pudgy older woman just is not seen as much of a threat.
But for the first time I wondered ….
How would that routine traffic stop gone if I had been a black male. Would’ve I been treated as politely as long as I was polite? Would’ve I still gotten a polite warning or would’ve I driven away with a ticket? Would I have thought “police have routinely been killing black men for years” and been frightened or worried? Would I have felt that I would have to film the encounter?
And what about me? Would I have felt differently about being pulled over depending on if the policeman was white? Or black? Or Hispanic? Or wore a turban? I would have been just as polite and careful, but would I have been more worried or even frightened?
It makes me want to weep – I really honestly thought we had come further than this….
Some calendars say it is the third day of the week, but some claim it is the second. It is named after the gods of war and law in several different cultures, so it is not a peaceful day. In fact it is considered downright unlucky in some places – which is fitting considering that in the US Super Tuesday is the day many American states hold their presidential primary elections.
I have seen it called Two for Tuesday. Topless Tuesday. Giving Tuesday [what no alliteration?] Thankful Tuesday. Terrific Tuesday. Taste for Tuesday. Teach Me Tuesday. Patch Tuesday [STEAM and Blizzard].
There is a book A Toad for Tuesday. Are you old enough to remember the actress Tuesday Weld? There is a song by ILoveMakonnen.
Most of the time I think of it as the-day-that-is-not-Monday and roll with it.
Long before there was cable TV – and marathons of shows, e.g. America’s Top Models, or the complete Firefly series, or Sherlock or moviethons for Back to the Future….
Long before there were VHS tapes, DVDs, or blu-ray collections of entire series – Star Trek [TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager, Enterprise], Star Wars [with alternative viewing order], Upstairs Downstairs, Babylon 5,Once Upon a Time….
Long before there was NetFlix, Hulu or even YouTube – Orange is the New Black, Sense8,House of Cards….
There were books.
Long series of immersive adventures in a world that may or may not be long ago and/or far away or even plausible. Diving into a series was always one of the ways to take a vacation of the mind and spirit, which is why I have re-read Tolkien from the introduction of the Hobbit to the last Appendix in the Return of the King over and over again, for example. [Not to mention the series of Dune and Ender’s Game, and Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever and theInheritance series and God is an Englishman and James Herriot’s musings and Anne of Green Gables and Little Women]
And one of the wonderful things about being an adult, and living alone, is that if I choose to read all day and into the night I can do so without fear of recriminations or even interruptions. This weekend I was on a planet the natives have named Darkover where being a ginger means you probably have laran and living without machines doesn’t mean being primitive.
Even though I am at my desk this Monday, my mind is definitely not here. And when I go home tonight, I will leave this mundane, workaday world sink back into this world created by Marion Zimmerman Bradley.
Solitaire is what most people think of when they think of sitting in front of the computer, just clicking on something. It was a natural transition from cards to PC when you think about it – and yes, I used to sit and think, shuffling the cards again and again and playing the game through. Watching all those cards bounce around on the screen is curiously satisfying. And don’t even get me started about Tetris! I still have that one on my phone and it is my go-to for needing to pass time while waiting.
Facebook got me into farming and I made elaborate designs as I compulsively grew my property. There was an element of competition because there was ranking, but it was cool to see what your friends did with their properties. Oh and there were restaurants too, but I didn’t get into those quite as much. Pogo took me back to Solitaire and I still found it mindlessly relaxing and that it still helped me to think. And there were one-armed bandits too that helped accumulate gold, points, and levels that you could spend on stuff to update your look.
Diablo III was the first hack ‘n slash game I played – with mouse rather than WASD navigation, killing the demons became easy, mindless, soothing activity and you got to level up. Oh there is some history, a story, scenery, and even the ability to form a hunting parties – but basically the idea is to stay alive and kill demons. Now there is Adventure Capitalist and Clicker Heroes. One you just accumulate fantastical amounts of money and the other you just clear away monsters. Your reward is to get to do more of the same Seriously, this stuff is not only mildly addictive, it is totally mind junk food.
But all of these games and apps have something in common – you do something and get a reward. I just don’t get this app: I am Rich LE. I just don’t get it.
* and have a presence in Second Life https://my.secondlife.com (for my main avatar -- I do have alts who have their own profiles)
And the quote I use most often for my signature: "I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your Extraordinary Mind." ~ Andre Jordan
Simple statement of fact – the Enclave does not have enough outside parking spaces to accommodate all of their tenants. Oh there is enough parking available, but not for free. Each building has two underground garages, with a $30 a month fee to use them and then you have an allotted space.
On the whole? The system works well enough for those who pay for their parking – there are only three times in seven years that I have had an issue with not having my space available because someone else parked there, a couple more times when I had to park outside due to maintenance. But for the people who park for free outside? There are problems – cars parked in spaces that are not actually spaces. Cars parked a half a mile away on the road. Anyone getting home after 6pm has a problem finding an open spot.
And that problem is about to get worse.
Management has decided to do repairs to the garages, one at a time, over a four month period .[until December]. To accomplish that? They are closing down the garage completely – starting, of course, with the garage I use. No parking in that garage until further notice; the office cannot tell the residents how long this displacement will take. Management has apologized for “the slight inconvenience” this will cause and will waive the parking fee for August.. The second garage for the building will be available, and if you can find one of the spaces in that garage marked as available, then you may use it -- but otherwise you have to find a parking spot outside.
Ten ways to get yourself out of a rut. (To cheer yourself up)
Well now to me these are two separate needs – I may not need cheering up but have to get out of the same old/same old. In pondering the things that I do, I find a lot of it involves “escaping” rather than “coping”.
· Read. Diving into a good book is my #1 way to rest my mind. But it has to be a work that I can immerse myself in, which is why I lost count of how many times I have read from the introduction to The Hobbit to the last appendix in The Return of the King ((it was over two hundred times four decades ago))
· Head for my 2nd Life. go in Second Life. Kill demons. Wander around another world.
· Dress whimsically.
· Call a friend and talk. Sometimes this doesn’t work that well unless you have someone you can really resonate with
· Go to the movies. Go sit in the dark and eat popcorn and be somewhere else. But I only relax if it is a good story – get a movie that is all special effects and I might like it, but it doesn’t refresh or renew.
· Retail therapy. I like shopping, even in my 2nd Life. This is not healthy for my finances though…..
· Crafts. Sew, knit, do counted cross-stitch – been a while since I did this since I got so involved with the computer
· Eat. Yeah, there is a reason I am over-weight – food is not just for sustenance, it is an entertainment and a distraction. Hasn’t been very often in my life where I was to the point that I wasn’t ready to eat – usually if I am stressing out, I am ravenous.
· Meander. Sometimes outside, sometimes in a mall, might be in a museum, maybe a craft show or flea market [ when I can find one]. Just refusing to be anywhere at a designated time and puttering along
· Write. Journals rock and after everything gets down on paper and you have cried it out? Sometimes it doesn’t look that bad after being caged in words.
And this is the end of this particular meme. It has been harder than I thought it would be to keep with it – the person I lifted it from didn’t – and I don’t know how interesting it was for you all either.
Today, day nine of ten, we are supposed to share ten of our favorite photos.
While it goes without saying that I could fill a picture album with shots that I treasure, first there are the family pictures that I can tell you about, but for reasons of privacy, I cannot post:
Gem and Tom as kids – in particular, two pictures that were taken by KinderFoto in Security Mall. Gem in her pink and white sweater with those blond curls fluffed out like a halo around her head. Tom in his striped polo shirt, blond hair gleaming. Neither are actually smiling and you can see their blue/gray and gray/blue eyes
Tom’s graduation picture – full western gear and a big smile. Not a lot of color – he was dressed in gray and his Stetson was black.
A close up of Frank – this one I could post if I still had it, but it is at the cemetery because we wanted a picture of Frank on his marker. His western shirt was a vivid blue plaid and he is staring at the camera, I think Billy took it while we were in Williamsburg one trip.
Annalise’s newborn picture
And then there are the pictures that I have just run across and really like – and you know what? If you really want to get an idea of what I like, take a look at my 14 Pinterest boards at https://www.pinterest.com/kalahbella/ where I have been posting stuff.
Telling you what I like to eat is no problem -- but why? ER, it tastes good? Is yummy in my tummy? Makes my taste buds dance and sing? As with the rest of these lists, it is in no particular order:
Boston Cream Pie -- hands down my very favorite cake and really rare these days! Most of the time they just smack vanilla pudding in the middle instead of real custard. The Cheesecake Factory even discontinued the Boston Cream Cheesecake that was one of my favorite deserts when I ate there.
Bread – My first job was in a bakery and smelling that bread as it came out of the oven, eating it when it was hot, gave me an appreciation of bread that has stayed with me through the years. I used to make a honey white bread that was awesome if I say so myself – and I especially remember Grandmom Hughes’ rolls and Grandmom Riley’s biscuits. Never could duplicate them as hard as I tried, and believe me, I tried.
Steak – rare. Not just pink in the middle, RARE.
Sushi -- sashimi or nigiri or hand-roll or maki, yes please
banana split
bacon – crispy but not too crisp.
sour beef and dumplings – the old-fashioned sauerbraten with really solid dumplings that stick to your ribs like glue and thick gravy that is as good as the tender meat. Hard to find these days.
steamed crabs – steamed with rock salt and beer, caked with Old Bay -- throw a newspaper on the picnic table, pile ‘em up, hand out the mallets, stick a roll of paper towels nearby, and make sure the beer is cold
cream of crab soup – rich and with sherry, of course
Long Island Ice Tea – my beverage of choice, although you might find me with a whiskey sour in my hand.
Honorable Mention:
New England clam chowder – you can keep your Manhattan style
White cake – not Angel Food, but a pure white cake made with egg whites, frosted with homemade white icing.
Grandmom Riley’s sugar cookies. Grandmom Riley was not a good cook, but she could make a cookie that was so thin and crisp and tasty that I have yet to see it duplicated.
Grandmom Hughes’ snowballs. Now this I learned to make myself – found the recipe called “Russian teacakes” – heavy rich dough with walnuts and a ton of sugar.
Day Seven of Ten: Ten of your favorite historical moments
You know, that is the problem I have with lists and memes – it is easy to write down “do this” and then you get to thinking about it and go, “huh”? Favorite? If you are not a history buff, then what does that mean? You weren’t there and when you come right down to it? You don’t actually know what happened, not really.
That moment when hominids decided that community [tribe, group, population, whatever] was important, which led to communication and bonding beyond the immediate family unit and the transmission of oral memories across generations.
That moment when writing became a way to store and transmit memories
The birth of the great religious leaders and religions – pick one, they all had a huge impact, neh?
The invention of the movable type printing press whether you agree that it was 1040 by Bi Sheng or in 1439 by Johannes Gutenberg
The signing of the Magna Carta
The meeting of Napoleon and Josephine
The high-water mark of the Confederacy at the Battle of Gettysburg
The stand at Rourke’s Drift that was so graphically portrayed in Zulu. Was it accurate? Who knows, but that moment at the redoubt never fails to bring tears to my eyes.
Neil Armstrong walking on the moon
When the internet went “live” 08.06.1991. I joined the online world a couple years later – not a first adopter or trendsetter by any means, but one of those quick to jump in
Honorable mention: When Thomas Jonathan Jackson forever became known as “Stonewall Jackson” at the first Battle of Manassas.
"a perfect moment" is the title of this picture and it seemed like a good wrap to this post
-- Day Six of ten: Ten destinations that you would love to visit ((no matter how I get there))
by or or or
Niagara Falls-- I am the only person in my entire family who has not been there
Ireland– while I want to visit all the UK – Wales, Scotland and England – it is the Emerald Isle that calls out to me. How I would love to be there for one of the music festivals!
Hawaii– to walk the beaches, to see Pearl Harbor, to gaze upon the volcano
Japan– not just Tokyo, but the countryside. And yes, I would want to go to Hiroshima and Nagasaki
India– the Taj Mahal, of course! The culture is what calls to me, and I would love to be part of the celebration of Holi
Mexico-- I want to see Teotihuacan and walk the Avenue of the Dead
Rome– to see the Vatican and the Pantheon
Greece– the stone age ruins in Macedonia, the Acropolis in Athens
The Great Wall of China
Space –the final frontier. Orbiting the Earth. Visiting the ISS. Going to the Moon or Mars or an asteroid. I want to be among the stars….
Honorable mentions:
New Zealand – always wanted to see the Outback in Australia and now I want to visit MiddleEarth
Day Five: Ten Books/Movies/Creative works that have changed your life
In approximate chronological order:
I hated it when we read out loud in class; they read so slowly that it bored me. It was in third grade, and I flipped through the reader and found The Speckled Band -- and immediately became a Baker Street Irregular, reading everything and anything I could find about the famous detective
Miss Susie Slagle's by Augusta Tucker was the first historical novel I picked up because it was on my mother's bookshelf when I was about 10 or so I have reread the book several times since then even hunting down the prequel "The Man Miss Susie Loved". Historical novels became a favorite genre.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne. It was a Christmas present I got in 8th grade and I read and re-read that paperback until it started to fall apart and my mother threatened to take it away from me. It was my introduction to what has become a life-long addiction to science fiction
when I stayed one summer in Shillington PA with Aunt Ava and Uncle Harry, Dawn and I discovered the high school rehearsals of "Babes in Arms". I never tired of watching those high school kids rehearse and I have loved live theater ever since with a special fondness for musicals.
Another Christmas gift was Kon Tiki by Thor Heyerdahl. That and the book about Easter Island, Aku Aku, were the springboard to the worlds of anthropology, archeology, and history, shaping my studies.
the Desiderata
The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolken, which triggered my addiction to fantasy.
Language in Thought and Action by SI Hayakawa -- the study of semantics, understanding that why what was said and what was heard could vary, had a profound impact on my thoughts about communication
the Knowledge Ecology Network was my first experience with asynchronous communications and the power of online networking, plunging me into what would become the realm of social media as well as virtual reality.
The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge was given to me to read by the VP of HR in 1994 and it changed my career path as organizational change and development, knowledge management, team building, all became passions.
Honorable mentions:
Star Trek: the Original Series. I am, and ever have been, a Trekkie.
Dracula by Bram Stoker that I chose to read one dark night when I was home alone -- and have been afraid of, and fascinated by, vampires every since [as long as they don't sparkle that is]
Day Four: Ten Influential People or role models (people you don’t know!!)
People. Not books, so authors are out, but people I consider role models and were never actually part of my life.
*crickets*
Well, when you come right down to it, I never saw anyone in the public eye that I really wanted to pattern my life after. Never had anyone that I looked at [or heard] and thought “wow, I want to be just like that!” Oh sometimes I would indulge in wishful thinking, wishing that I had this person’s talent or that person’s ability to articulate or write or maybe another person’s mental wattage. Sure, I got interested -- I read about them and avidly sought mention of them [which meant newspapers, radio or TV because I am THAT old], “following” them as we say in these days of social media! But accept them as a role model? I never got all fired up and figured if said person could attain degrees or prominence or wealth or whatever, than I could too. I might be in awe of their genius, wit and/or wisdom, or envy their KSA [knowledge, skill, ability], or wish that I could bum some talent and/or luck, but I never was inspired to want to take someone as my muse.
If I had to rattle off names of people that I consider an “influence” [as always in no particular order]:
President John F Kennedy
Napoleon Bonaparte
Isaac Asimov
The 14th Dahlia Llama
Albert Einstein
….
…
..
.
Er, maybe Miss Lillian, Jimmy Carter’s mother? Or Mother Theresa?
*crickets*
Guess I have always been too caught up in being me.
Day Three: Ten Positive Memories that you never want to let go of.
I wrestled with this one -- pick just one moment frozen in time and it has to be a GOOD memory? It made me realize that many of the pleasant memories have downsides that linger with them -- think of one and the other one comes to mind as well. In no particular order:
Junk food odysseys -- Tom, Gem and I would slip away from the condo in Ocean City, NJ, leaving the Brinkers behind, and start eating our way down the boardwalk. Funnel cake. Peanut butter fudge. Cookies. Frozen custard. None of it good for us, all of it ruining our appetite for supper, and worth every minute as we strolled and talked and ate.
Grandmom Hughes' Sunday afternoons through the years -- after dinner we would sit and talk in the living room while the kids ran around either outside or down the basement and the menfolk sat in the TV room, smoking and watching the game. Sooner or later, we would start to sing rather than talk, sometimes with Grandmom playing the guitar, sometimes a cappella
The 4th of July family reunion I took Grandmom to in Frostburg around 1980 when the all the adults [there must've been twenty of us] sang God Bless America at the park in the gathering dusk. We had gone from chatting to singing and someone started the song. Suddenly we were all standing and singing with gusto -- a rousing rendition that made the entire countryside ring with the harmony. Those sons and daughters of Welsh coal miners could really sing!
a montage of vignettes of hugging my kids. singing in the car, reading books to them. The bedtime routine of happy tuneful splashing in the tub, followed by a book and then the quiet lullabies.
my wedding days -- whatever happened in the marriages, the weddings were awesome and joyous. And that includes the one in SL too!
that moment in Imagination when the clouds rolled by and Dreamfinder started singing with Figment when I fell in love with all things Disney
meeting and shaking hands with Issac Assimov
holding Annelise for the first time. Annelise running towards me and squealing happily the first time I go to pick her up at day care
debarking from the cruise ship when we arrived in Nassau and actually stepping for the first time into another country
Grandpop Hughes taking us out on the Nim Nell and letting me "drive" the boat.
Honorable mention: Frank driving, breaking into laughter and laughing so hard that he had to pull over when I told him he wouldn't say the glass was half empty or half full, he would say "don't touch that because some dirty SOB pissed in it"
Ten Places that make you feel positive, inspired and happy [in no particular order, just as they popped in my head]
Home– This was my first thought because I am content with my living space at the moment. Oh there are things that I would change, but I like my space and always breathe a sigh of relief when the door closes behind me
Mountains– the sweep and majesty. Frostburg, MD where I have relatives. Las Cruses, NM where my friends life, and the incredible vista of desert.
The ocean– I am not a beach person but I love the sound of the waves, the cries of the gulls and the smell of the salt air. Walking along the boardwalk in Ocean City, the sounds, the smells and the tastes. The beauty of Castaway Cay.
Walt Disney World
The theater– any live theater really whether professional or amateur. I miss ushering at the Morris Mechanic in Baltimore
Centennial Park in Ellicott City– I have walked around that lake many times whether to relax, to cry, to think or just to be outside http://www.centennialmd.org/
This blogging platform truly pisses me off at times -- the character limit is low, the youTube insert isn't working and posting a picture can only be done by url. While I have been a charter member of CeoExpress and would love to continue supporting it, I am seriously considering moving this blog...
CEOExpress
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I was stopped by the police today for a traffic violation. *grumble* 
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