Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
There wasn’t any actual reason that I could see. I was walking along and suddenly lost my balance and fell to the ground, bruising my knee and elbow and scaring myself. I think that I might’ve tripped over my flip flops as I was walking rather briskly, not watching where I put my feet as I stepped up on a curb. This isn’t the first time that I have suddenly lost my balance in the past months – there are times when I have lurched and bumped into a doorway, or staggered when I got up from a chair quickly, or almost tripped over Kula. It doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about, but it does make me feel old.
It isn’t just physically that I have tripped. In both my 2nd Life and my so-called “real” life, I have noticed that I lose my balance more easily emotionally. Last year I had to downsize my property in Nowhereville and I got very emotional, in fact, I became a major PITA.. And dealing with technology and insurance definitely leaves me feeling querulous these days. And in both “lives”, interactions that wouldn’t phase me at all in the past now keep coming back up and nagging at me, creating a niggling, insecure feeling that I could’ve handled that one better. I find that I am less able to initiate conversations, am less relaxed about being accepted,, more concerned about what others think and more apt to take things as being about me that have nothing to do with me.
If I am losing balance now, what will happen in twenty years or so? When my grandchildren finish high school, I will be over 80 years old, and I am afraid that I will be “doppley” or senile [as we used to call those with Alzheimer’s] rather than a vital and loving part of their lives. The specters of both my maternal grandmother and my mother loom over me, increasing the sensitivity to every change, adding to my worry about my physical and mental balance. Is this the first signs of the start of dementia? Will I deteriorate the way that I watched both of them descend into incompetence?
I just have this feeling that I need to be working on “growing old gracefully” [as we used to say] – that that for me, starts by being mindful of keeping an even keel, both physically and emotionally.
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