Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
Today Word Porn [ https://twitter.com/wordsporn ] cautions: "Pay attention to things people say to you when they're angry."
Interesting – that is exactly what my mother used to tell me all the time. Heaven help you if you lost your temper and said something in the heat of an argument, she had a memory like the proverbial elephant, never forgetting and certainly never forgiving. What you said would be repeated again and again, sometimes years later – in my 50’s I was still getting reminded that at six years old, I told her I hoped I was adopted because I didn’t like her. My second husband, Gem’s father, agreed with her that when you are angry, you are more likely to reveal how you really feel, and once again, anything said could and would be used against you.
Perhaps because of my mother, and acknowledging my own quick temper for I am very much like a thunderstorm, I always felt that what was said in anger was not always valid. When a person has lost their temper and is lashing out, I have found that most are willing to say some pretty cutting things just to rend and make you feel the same pain that they are feeling. When the tumult has passed, there should be a clearing of the air to make sure that there aren’t lingering hard feelings, resentments or buried truths, I agree. But I have chosen through the years to believe that some of the hard things said to me by parents, ex-husbands and even my kids [not to mention co-workers and managers] isn’t an accurate reflection of how they “really” feel. I have chosen to believe the words that are spoken calmly rather than those thrown in anger and/or frustration.
Of course, when I shared this stance with my mother she promptly informed me that I was wrong, I should take to heart what I was being told during arguments and failing to do so was simply delusional on my part. How could I change for the better, she asked, when I refused to hear negatives just because folks got so frustrated with my blindness that they had to shout at me? It is a question that still haunts me to this day.
So, question of the day: do you believe that people are more apt to tell the truth when they are mad at you?
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