Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
Recently I treated myself to a pedicure. The slim young woman lectured me about dry skin and then asked me if I wanted my toenails trimmed. I replied “Trim them please”. She repeated the command back to me, and then to a co-worker “trim ‘em” complete with a significant look and eye roll…. And I rather defiantly refused to clear up my diction as she asked the question during the manicure too. I looked at her and realized that I had just been cast in a stereotype of “low class crap she has to put up with” even though she was perfectly polite and did a good job.
It got me to reflecting about how we speak every day, well how I speak. I have to admit that I really did swallow the “th” and it did sound like I said “trim ‘em” – but I have no idea why it was so amusing or type-casting. Is slackness with such contractions a symptom of lower class behavior or poor education? What about a regional pronunciation, such as calling a stream a “crick” or making Baltimore only two syllables? I certainly wouldn’t write a sentence with ‘em or crick or Bawlmer unless I was quoting someone actually talking. I guess that is the difference between pronunciation and the use of a colloquial expression such as “you all”
Adding “all” to a pronoun isn’t just done willy nilly, there are rules. Say you went to the grocery story, just you, one person. No “all” would be added. But if the whole family went out to get ice cream? Then I would expect to see you all at Twin Kiss if you live hereabouts. Of course, the further South one goes and people start drawling, the “you” and the “all” kinda run together and the ubiquitous “y’all” makes an appearance. I’m not even going to talk about “yous” or “youse” – go read someone from further North to find out what that means and how to use it. And it beats me why yours isn’t spelled your’s, I rank that up there with its and it’s. And don’t get me started in invariant verbs like “let” because I frustrate my grammar friends by using “left” as the past pluperfect instead of “had let”
I can tell you that “you all” isn’t the only use of “all” because at times, “all” might be added to “we” or “they”:
We all wanted our ice creams in a waffle cone.
They all decided to get their ice cream in a cup.
In this case, “all” doesn’t indicate “more than one person”, it indicates uniformity. We all wanted a waffle cone, every single one of us, and they all wimped out and wanted cups.
By the way, the young lady got a tip because she did a good job and no I didn’t grumble about her making fun of me.
And now I need a soft ice cream , in a waffle cone, so I’ll catch up with you all later.
I love Disney. I love going to the parks. I love staying on site. I love the Disney Dream. I love the smells, the sights, the music. I love the feeling of magic and involvement, of being allowed on stage at the world’s largest theatrical production and actually encouraged to interact with the cast.
But I am not fond of theme parks. Universal Studios, Busch Gardens, Kings Dominion, Hershey Park are all okay, but I have no need or desire to go back to them time and time again, or to buy their merchandise, or be a stockholder. I am not really a “rides” person for one thing. Well actually that is the main reason – I really don’t like rides and won’t even get on them if they go upside down or backwards. Yes I have done the mountains at WDW, well except for Mt Everest in the Animal Kingdom because I see no reason to hunt down a perfectly peaceful Yeti and then get chased by it [and it goes backwards]. But I have been on Thunder Mountain five times, Space Mountain twice, and Splash Mountain once and no, I don’t intend to do them again. I have also been on the new 7 Dwarves Mine Train and the new GM test track and I don’t need to do either of them again – but Mission Space rocks no matter how many times you do it. And I am not a character hunter either. Well except for Sorcerer Mickey of course. Oh and Piglet. And there was this Star Wars weekend and the Pirates in the Caribbean…..
So when I read this article about things we miss in WDW, and after going down there this May, I suddenly realized that some folks really are going to a theme park when they do Disney. Actually there an awful lot of them, and I can only hope that Disney does not get in the way of catering just to them by stressing the need to keep moving. I am hoping that Disney isn’t forgetting the rest of us who just want to meander and immerse ourselves, and that the shady spots, quiet areas and benches will come back
Because I love Disney, but I really don’t particularly like theme parks.
After my first concentrated effort to get rid of stuff, I have been asking myself what it is that I absolutely would want to keep and today I came up with a list:
clothing [including shoes] for work, play and dress up
my jewelry -- the good and junk jewelry
pictures and photo albums
tech -- the PC, the Kindle [would need to upgrade, organize and buy lots if I am getting rid of books], the iPad, the iPhone
Kula's stuff
I have been looking at the Tiny Houses for a year or so [the first one I saw looked exactly like Bag End and caught my fancy] and thinking about how it would be to live in one and be free of rent -- altho I am not quite certain why they are considered so upscale and a trailer [okay, "mobile home"] is considered low class. A blog post about minimalism seemed to fit in well with my thinking too:
Minimalism is a conversation. Minimalism isn’t about getting rid of all your stuff and living with barely anything. In a family, minimalism is really a conversation about what’s important. What’s necessary. Why we own things and do things.
OTOH: At the moment? I have a lot of stuff. I have shelves and shelves of books and DVDs -- more than I can read or watch in a year. I have too many clothes -- two closets and a coat closet in the hall and I still am using the master bedroom bathroom as a makeshift closet too. All that work in the DA and I still have a half room full of stuff -- mostly old papers, souvenirs and Christmas decorations - to go through.
OTOH: But while all those books and knick-knacks and souvenirs and stuffed animals and pillows really aren't necessary? I like them and they make the place feel like home, it is comforting to have them around.
Yeah, I'm not going minimalistic anytime soon.....
A couple years ago, one thing that was puzzling me was why my complexion was looking so rattled. Pores seemed to gape, the skin tone seemed off and every flaw jumped out at me as I gazed in the mirror. Mind you, like everyone else I am my own worst critic, but this was getting really bad. I started experimenting with makeup for the first time in my life, spending time and money and still not happy with the result.
And then I looked at my hair – well what is left of the thinning strands anyway [another story for another time].
I went through a stage where I wore wigs because I never could get my hair to do what I wanted it to do or to stay put. Somewhere there is a picture of me posing in a blond wig in a store and looking absolutely like I crawled out of the gutter in a drunken stupor – and that is a flattering description of just how bad I looked as a blonde. About five years later, I was at the House of Wigs [a little place off 95N in the Carolinas, don’t know if it is still there or not] and the woman told me that I had light brown hair and was not a “real” redhead, so I tried on the wig she brought out to me, looked in the mirror and sighed. She stared at me, snatched the wig off my head and walked away muttering “You’re right. You’re a redhead.”
Fast forward two decades: gray arrived slowly, mixing in with my hair and turning it lighter and lighter as there was more and more of it. Now I don’t care about being gray – I earned it, neh? But I do care about not looking like a thoroughly and perpetually rattled floozy – that makes me feel old and unattractive in a way that the gray never did. So I started experimenting with coloring my hair and found a look I liked. And yet it bothers me, not just the expense [is $150 every other month too much to spend on vanity?], but because I feel like I sold out to some idealized image of “beauty”. Besides, I can hear myself as a youth stating strongly that “I” was never going to be that old woman with the frizzy-haired bright red dye job shuffling through the mall wearing knee-high stockings and a skirt [stockings? Another story for another time]
*coughs*
yeah well back in the day, Mick Jagger promised he wouldn’t be strutting his stuff when he got old, so I don’t feel too bad…. but I do have to admit that I kinda envy you gals who can rock the gray look!
You have all heard the hype about the benefits of exercising – cardiovascular health, improvement in mood [endorphins anyone?], weight control, boosting energy, stress relief, the ability to sleep better and even the promise that it will be fun. Those of us who by nature would rather read a book than play sports and who don’t really enjoy that sweaty feeling aren’t buying it, but we do tend to feel a bit guilty about our sedentary lifestyle now and then.
With all that in mind, this year my Lenten vow was to get on that exercise bike and increase my time by one minute each day. By April 4th I was over 30 minutes, and ten days ago I hit my target of 45 minutes a day and I have been doing that every day ever since. Well I did skip two days – Easter Sunday and last Saturday – but I am still well over the cardio recommendation of 150 minutes a week.
And my friend asked me if I noticed a difference yet.
*sighs* I have to admit that I don’t see a lot of changes yet. Sometimes at night I am exhausted when I get off the bike and I certainly am not getting any kind of high from the activity. My legs hurt. My ankles continue to swell and cause problems. I can’t say I have been sleeping better. I don’t weigh myself every day but I don’t feel any slimmer. When you come right down to it, it hasn’t made a real difference yet and that is really discouraging. But the only real downside to this regime is that it takes a chunk of time for an activity that I don’t really enjoy, so for now I’ll stick with it, but all that hype is just that-- hype.
Intellectually I know this is good for me, but so is broccoli, neh? And don’t even get me started on cooking spinach…..
The Alienware X51 was my Christmas present to myself, ordered 12.09.12 and arrived in January 2013 after being delayed [no reason given]. It was a huge upgrade from my previous DELL and at first I was very happy. In retrospect the decline was gradual. Issues with running slow. Issues with booting up. Issues with unexpected pauses. Issues with USB ports not working. Issues with graphics having problems in Second Life. Issues with WIN7 suddenly announcing that it was an illicit copy. Issues with updates needing to be re-done. I kept trying to figure out whatI was doing wrong, checking drivers, doing maintenance, and finally asking myself if I had outgrown this PC after only a year. But you are never prepared for the blue screen of death and that is what greeted me one week ago.
Fortunately the machine is still under warranty for hardware issues and this problem was diagnosed as one of memory – my PC had Alzheimer’s. DELL support took a full week to get me back online and needed the best efforts of the individuals I spoke to – Carlos, Nicole and Manuel – for a total of about six hours on the phone. The tech who came out on Monday to install the new memory was efficient, did exactly what he should’ve, but was not what I expected from an on-site tech call. The entire diagnostic process rested on the Morse code the machine sent to Carlos after 1 ½ hours when he walked me through going in and resetting the memory – seems to me that while the tech was here and had the item open, some testing or cleaning or tightening or checking could’ve been done, but that was not what he was asked to do, so I can’t complain.
Let’s hope that the memory was the only problem, especially after Manuel spent 3 hours last night reloading drivers. Now the long process of reloading begins. I got the NOD32 virus protection loaded and I left the PC trying to do 199 WIN updates this morning. As anyone who has had to start from scratch knows, getting your PC where you want it to be is a long, long journey. I am still not up and running, but at least DELL got me started.
Not a calling it a win, DELL, but you certainly get kudos for effort.
A perfect storm of tech issues to the point that I was asked “what in the heck are you doing over there?”:
DAY 6 offline: DELL’s Alienware X51 is currently nothing more than a brick. Memory was replaced and WIN7 reloaded but instead of a clean install, it is now sitting on top of my “old files”. No drivers for the monitor [which is a DELL] or even the Ethernet connector. I can’t even get a disc out of the CD/DVD player without turning the machine off and on again. Support sent a new resources disc, but drivers aren’t loading. I think that the hard drive needs to be re-formatted. FAIL
FIOS router: when I enabled the wifi feature, the router went offline. FIOS got me a new router out the next day, and that is working just fine. WIN
IM+refused to load up on the iPad after the OS updated. Contacted support and was told that it would take two days for a reply – but they got back to me within an hour and told me to delete then reinstall the app. After I figured out how to do that, and rebooted the iPad, IM+ works again, albeit looking a lot different and having to be set up. WIN
The 3rdtech support call is scheduled this evening with DELL support and @DellCares is following me on Twitter. Let’s hope my 2ndLife goes live again soon!
I bought this PC at the beginning of last year and on the whole, was happy with it. But those who follow me in Facebook or in Second Life, know that I have been whining and complaining about a series of computer problems for the past six weeks: graphics that will not load, USB ports that stop functioning, drivers that suddenly lose their updated version, WIN7 deciding it was not a valid copy, the occassional problem with and slowness during booting up. Last night it all came to a head -- instead of booting up the computer gave me the blue screen of death, informing me that I had corrupted memory and recommending I contact my admistrator.
er, hello, I AM the adminstrator you stupid souless machine!
So I spent about twenty minutes trying to get WIN to load, going into secure mode, telling it to choose a restore point [only had that option once], and after multiple attempts, pulled out the paperwork and found a DELL customer support line and called it. Great -- one of those automated pre-Siri voices asking me to tell her what the problem was. "Computer will not boot up" and she transfers me to a tech with a heavy accent. Well Carlos and I had a few communication problems, but he stayed on the line for 1 1/2 horus trying different things and then walking me through opening the case and disassembling the PC to get to the memotry, which mean taking out the fan and heat synch and unplugging cables
I "reset" the memory by taking it out and putting it back in again. When I tried to start it up after getting it back together [never did get that case back on right tho] it started beeping. Apparently DELL PC's "talk" to their techs via morse code. Carlos said it was the memory, ordered the part, sent it to the local tech
Good news: Carlos was great with this FFNT [fumble fingered non tech] -- and it is till under warranty so this won't cost me a thing Bad news: No SL or D3 -- I am on the iPad until further notice and the tech that will come out only works 9-5, M-F
What does it mean to live hand-to-mouth or from paycheck to paycheck? It’s not always the big decisions, but the kinds of things that those with money never think about because they don’t have to make these choices.
Got a scrape, scratch or dent on the side of the car? Notice a rust spot starting on the roof? Stupid sensor light keeps coming on when you know there isn’t a problem? As long as the car is running maybe getting it fixed isn’t that important even though it would look nicer or feel better to drive or possibly last longer.
People need maintenance too that ends up getting deferred or ignored. If I didn’t have to worry about money, maybe I would’ve stayed with my doctor of two decades when he went boutique. Maybe I would’ve kept up with the grief counseling or gotten treatment for depression. Maybe the painful swelling in my ankles would be addressed by laser surgery on the veins in my legs instead of being told to wear support hose. Maybe I would go to a dermatologist for these pesky rashes rather than being given a cream. Maybe I would’ve stayed with my dentist of many years when they stopped accepting insurance and kept up with annual cleaning and my gums would be in better shape.
Fact is? When the first question you have to ask when discussing treatment for non-life threatening issues is how much it costs and how much the insurance will cover, you face the reality that it doesn’t make any difference what is available, you get the best care you can afford. And yes, it impacts the quality of life and potentially the length of life as well.
Well we have made it to spring -- kinda sorta. Temps are still a bit on the chilly side and there is still snow on the ground, but Daylight Savings Time has kicked in and the equinox is here...
Today is the first anniversary of my mother's death. She would've been 87 this year. The picture is the last one I have of the three generations -- my daughter, myself and my mother. It was taken in the spring, about ten years ago
1.Are you a bookworm? absolutely, always have been
2.Which do you prefer: hardcover, paperback or electronic? I prefer print books, but enjoy my Kindle. It has enabled me to indulge my book buying without worrying about the constrictions of space in my apartment and I have something to read wherever I go via the app on my phone
3. Which book is your favorite? The Lord of the Rings. I was introduced to JRR Tolkien when I was 17 and have been to Middle Earth many, many, many times
4. Which children’s book is your favorite? A Swiftly Tilting Planet by Madeline Engle
5. What’s the last book you’ve read? In the course of reading Walking on Eggshells and Jokers III
6. Name a book that had a strong impact on you: It would have to be 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea -- given to me for Christmas, it was my first sci fi book and I re-read that paperback until it literally fell apart.
7. Favorite & least favorite book genres? Favorites are sci fi, fantasy and historical romances, and least favorite? Well I am not a fan of murder mysteries or twinkly vampires, but I will give most books a try for at least 50 pages....
8. Favorite & least favorite book-to-movie adaptions? I think that Peter Jackson did a great job with Tolkien. Least favorite? most movie adaptations are lame when compared to the books so the list is way too long here
9. Have you ever bought a book based on the cover alone? no
10. Where do you usually buy your books? these days to get the cutting edge books, I turn to Amazon.
11. Do you go to the library? not any more....
12. How many books do you own? not sure. It broke my heart when I moved and downsized because I had to get rid of over half of my library. I guess there is only about 1500 books left here now, and what I have on my Kindle adds another couple hundred
13. If you were to write a book about Second Life, which topic would you focus on? the focus would be on interaction and community, the way that we use our 2nd lives to overcome the roles that we have acquired in what we laughing call "real life". The impact on our hearts and minds.
“I’m up to my ears in unwritten words.” ~ J.D. Salinger, excerpt from a letter to Jean Miller (via larmoyante)
There's a list of course -- reflections on the fact that there is no such thing as a historical fact; thoughts on the finding of purpose; laments on silence; commentary on family and choices; discussion of some current theories in cultural anthropology [did you ever wonder why there is only one human species?]; the role of social media in online relationships..... Some of them I have written in my head, but when I sit down and the screen is blank, the words flit away.
A couple days ago, Bill Nye [the Science Guy] debated Ken Ham over evolution versus creationism. Neither of them “won”, no one was keeping score. From where I sat, Ham made a good point when he stressed it is called the “Theory of Evolution” and that we don’t actually know what happened. Nye made a good point when asked what would change his mind and he stated without hesitation “evidence.”
It was moderately entertaining, but the real thing it accomplished was to highlight the difference between what one person “believes” and another person “thinks”. Despite the fact that we really don’t know what happened in hominid development, that we are speculating based on sketchy evidence, dating by methods that we consider accurate, Nye THINKS that the theory of evolution explains the data we have found accurately.
Despite the fact that we really don’t know that our current translation of Genesis is completely accurate, that we are making assumptions when interpreting what some passages mean, Ham BELIEVES that the world was created whole and entire and is pretty young, and sees no reason to assume that the data we have found contradicts this. The real question is what do we teach our kids, neh? Do we teach them what some people THINK or what some people BELIEVE?
I don’t have a problem with teaching evolution is a theory, and that it is a theory because we just don’t know for sure. I don’t have a problem teaching that there are alternative ways to look at the data, and that some people believe differently. I do have a problem teaching either theory or belief as fact. It is my opinion we need to teach the difference between “thinking” and believing” and that they are not mutually exclusive.
As I write this? it is 5 with a wind chill of -11. The sun is out today, but schools all over the area are closed and the Fed is opening two hours late and they are talking another snow storm hitting on Sunday. I am so DONE with winter and it is only mid-January! Definitely hibernation should be a viable option, neh?
Tu B'shuvat, also known as the New Year of Trees, started at sundown yesterday. Since it overlaps Makar Sankranti, and that is celebrated by flying kites, does that mean it is feeding time for Charlie Brown's kite-eating tree?
Today is the first Monday of the new year and the first full week of work after the holidays. All the schools are open. I can see the traffic wending its way into the city in a river of lights on RT 29, a river that I will be joining to wend my way into work. I am sure that there are folks who lept out of bed and are joyfully rushing to their work. I am sure that there are folks [not just kids] who are heading out to school, glad to leave home behind and get out and about. I am sure that there are folks who don't mind the cold and the dark as they start their day, their week, their workaday year. And I am equally sure that there are folks who just get up and trudge out because it is what is expected of them....
It was really pretty this morning when I first came out to go to work around 8AM. It snowed enough to close schools but not enough to stop anything else. When I first drive out, it is very pretty -- every single item is limned with a layer of sparkling white, the fence posts, the wires, even the traffic lights have little circles of white around each light that reflects the red and green and yellow. Apparently that is actually a problem in some areas as the new lights don't generate enough heat to melt anything and they can become obscured -- who knew? What are they going to do about that, go around and clean all the lights in busy intersections?
The sky is blue, the slanting rays of the sun are bright and it is beautiful. I kept telling myself that I should take a picture, but the opportunity to pull over and do so never quite presented itself -- driving wasn't all that great and I couldn't easily reach my phone to take a quick snapshot. By the time I get to work the magic is already fading, the snow is being knocked off by the robust winds. Many people are driving with cars encrsusted with snow and ice -- the garage is worth paying for especially in this kind of weather.
This blog has been quiet, has not been an accurate indicator of my online presence, of my 2nd Life. Instead of writing here? I shared things via Twitter [which got posted to my FaceBook page] and occasionally on G+. I posted in gated forums. I wrote emails. I chatted via IM -- lots of that as it is the only way I have to interact with some folks. I kept a private diary/journal aptly named "babbling" that is only read by one other person by design rather than happenstance as opposed to the limited audience this blog has. Will I write more here? It isn't a resolution to do so, but my sense is that I will.
Nine years ago I did something that could never be undone and I have lived with the regret every single day. Nine years ago, Frank was exasperating me, he couldn't seem to get himself together to leave and was talking about retiring from his job at the mall. It was one of a handful of times in almost 20 years that I did not actually kiss him. I did not tell him that I loved him and to be careful out there. "We'll talk about it when you get home," I said firmly, "you're going to be late." Nine years ago today, I kissed Frank on the cheek and impatiently walked away so I could get ready for my work. He let himself out the door while I was in the shower.
He died at work that day.
He dropped dead at 9:35AM behind the wheel of the security car -- stroke or heart attack. The paramedics who responded didn't report him as dead, they rushed him to the hospital and the official time of death was 10:30AM. They weren't able to notify me until after 1:30PM -- Frank had forgotten to change my contact number when I changed jobs. Finally his boss thought of his personal cell phone and they found my number there as "Carol work" and called me, telling me to call the doctor. I called and the poor lady ended up telling me on the phone that he was gone....
Learn from this so that you don't live with regret.
Tell your loved ones every day that you love them. Every. single. day. You might not ever get another chance.
Keep your emergency contact numbers up to date at work.
You may think that it is Tuesday because that is what the calendar says, but it actually is Monday! And the sun struggles past the mists and the fogs this morning
CEOExpress
I can only hope that I was a better mother than I was a daughter....
The Alienware X51 was my Christmas present to myself, ordered 12.09.12 and arrived in January 2013 after being delayed [no reason given]. It was a huge upgrade from my previous DELL and at first I was very happy. In retrospect the decline was gradual. Issues with running slow. Issues with booting up. Issues with unexpected pauses. Issues with USB ports not working. Issues with graphics having problems in Second Life. Issues with WIN7 suddenly announcing that it was an illicit copy. Issues with updates needing to be re-done. I kept trying to figure out whatI was doing wrong, checking drivers, doing maintenance, and finally asking myself if I had outgrown this PC after only a year. But you are never prepared for the blue screen of death and that is what greeted me one week ago.
What does it mean to live hand-to-mouth or from paycheck to paycheck? It’s not always the big decisions, but the kinds of things that those with money never think about because they don’t have to make these choices.
