• I found one of the images I liked to use in presentations showing the perils of NOT having a knowledge management program

• I was a "Star" presenter for AOK and this was one of the pieces that I submitted on "Why Stealth KM?"
• an echo of the past surfaces -- here is my CV on one of the old WIKI pages!   Addresses and work email is way out of date.  I love that little pop-up .git tho -- it was my online photo in many a conference
• wow -- just found my very first presentation at a conference.   This was done back in the spring of 2000 for executives interested in going online for business opportunities.  I got to meet Tom Peters!
• And another presentation, one I did a year or so later in Boston surfaces...   I used to share my presentations with my online community.  Apparently someone saved my work because these things have been posted in the last year or so
• I played with SWIKI for a while...   hey, that one is still active -- I can still log in and you can add it to your iGoogle as a widget too

The tag line was something that Grandmom Hughes used to say:  "tomorrow is promised to no one".   A quick GOOGLE search on the phrase gave back over 370K results and I leared that apparently Walter Payton is attributed with the quote.  Grandmom said it first, I'm sure.  I like the contrast between the thought that you are banking on tomorrow, followed by the realization that you are counting on something which may never come

Interestingly, this painting came up in the search as well 



 

The name of the tab is "bleeding heart...".  

Initially I had named it "bleeding heart liberal", but after a friend turned up her nose and scoffed, I was worried that it would be potentially seen as a politcal diatribe.  The "bleeding heart" comes from the song by Jimi Hendrix.  As for "liberal"?  Well in a non-political sense, liberal means "a lot" and that fit in with what I was trying to say.  In a politcal sense, I am well aware that to be called a bleeding heart liberal is not particularly complementary, but the play on words still amuses me and I do tend to be a liberal at times.

And I like the flowers too!

I am Grey. I stand between the candle and the star. We are Grey.  
We stand between the darkness and the light.  Delenn, Babylon 5

I was recently told to stop telling someone that I was happy for them because my congratulations were sounding insincere.  I was very startled and asked for that to be expanded because in this case, I was not being just poite and really was happy for the other.  I was told that the recipient could see that I "didn't really mean them".  I had to pull back and think hard about what it was that I was saying and how it was coming across. 

I pride myself on being sincere -- how could saying that I was happy for someone come across as ringing hollow?

The answer I came up with is that there are layers of reactions when one hears good news about another.   First there is the surface emotion -- the "oh how nice" reactions.  This is what most people see -- the flame of the candle

Then there is this darker part, the me I am not always proud of and reactions I seldom express.  This is the part that hears of anothers' good fortunes and starts to wail "I never win...  or good things like that never happen to me ... or why THEM and not ME... or it isn't fair" or any number of self-pitying reactions.  This angst can be felt by someone who is sensitive even when I don't say a word.  I don't like this part of myself.  It makes me feel both small and mean, and  I work very hard to keep it hidden away and rigidly contained -- the dark space between the candle and the flame.  Not everything here is fit for public consumption!   I am always afraid when someone sees this part of me because I am afraid it will disgust them and they will turn away from me, so I try to hide it and risk seeming a hypocrite.
 
Below is the part of me that I consider my core, where the real me lives -- not the surface reaction, not the ego-centric angst, but the heart-spring of my being. I take for granted that when people see me that they see the whole picture, candle  In this particular case, I really AM very happy for the person.  I would love to talk to them and hear their plans and even help if I can, but I no longer can be sure that I am projecting enough of myself to let them know that.

Before others can see past my flaws, I have to accept them. 

I am grey.  I stand between the candle and the star. We are Grey. We stand between the darkness and the light