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Carol H Tucker

Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan

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beladona Memorial

Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...


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the life changing event

Today is the 2nd day of the 42nd week, the 17th day of the 10th month, the 291st day of 2016, and: 
  • Black Poetry Day
  • Four Prunes Day
  • International Adjust your Chair Day
  • International Day for the Eradication of Poverty
  • Mulligan Day
  • Multicultural Diversity Day
  • National Boss Day
  • National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day
  • National Edge Day
  • National Pasta Day
  • Spreadsheet Day
  • Sukkot
  • Wear Something Gaudy Day
  • World Trauma Day
On this day:  In 456 Ricimer, supported by Majorian, defeated the Roman usurper Avitus near Piacenza in northern Italy.  In 1456 the University of Greifswald was established, making it the second oldest university in northern Europe.  In 1558 Poczta Polska, the Polish postal service, was founded.  In 1604 German astronomer Johannes Kepler documented observing a supernova in the constellation Ophiuchus.  In 1771 the premiere in Milan of the opera Ascanio in Alba, composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart at the age of 15.  In 1931 Mobster Al Capone was convicted of income tax evasion and sentenced to 11 years in prison. In 1933 Albert Einstein fled Nazi Germany and moved to the US.  In 1943 the Burma Railway (Burma–Thailand Railway) was completed.  In 1956 the first commercial nuclear power station was officially opened by Queen Elizabeth II in Sellafield, Cumbria, England.  In 1965 the New York World's Fair closed. In 1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her work on behalf of the destitute in Calcutta.  In 2003 the pinnacle was fitted on the roof of Taipei 101, a 101-floor skyscraper in Taipei, making it the world's tallest high-rise. 



Yesterday I was reading an entrance exam, and one of the essay questions you could choose to answer was to describe an event or events that had an impact on life going forward and it got me to thinking about how I would answer that questions.  There is the standard stuff – deaths, falling in love, moving, weddings, breakups, graduations, births, surgeries, losing a job, etc – all very personal and meaningful, but that isn’t what came to mind. 



Instead my thoughts flew back on an incident that happened when I was in college – I’m not quite sure which year anymore.  I was distraught from dealing with family issues, struggling to even speak politely to my mother, having doubts about being able to finish college because I was worn out from taking a full schedule while working 40 hours a week to pay for it, and I felt very much alone and helpless.  I remember going into the health clinic and there was a counselor in that day.  I don’t recall if they were male or female or anything about the office.  What I do remember is that as I blurted out the miasma of despair I was carrying, I was sobbing.  The person from behind the desk asked many questions to keep me talking, and then asked me “what would you choose?”    And the tears immediately dried up, the posture went from slumped to sitting up, and I told them exactly what I wanted.   I don’t remember what was said or done after that; I walked out and never returned.



You see, in that moment of blinding revelation, what I heard was “ YOU HAVE A CHOICE ”. 



I had never felt that I was able to choose before – I couldn’t meet my family’s [especially my mother’s] expectations, I couldn’t convince the profs to give me As and I couldn’t make friends and all of these things were out of my control and beyond the realm of my influence.  But I immediately grasped that I had to change my reactions and it has become part and parcel of who I am.  I may not particularly like the choices that I have, but I have them.  I may not particularly like the consequences of my choices, but I own them.  I may not always be as good at this as I would like to be, but I am proud that for better or worse, I am the sum of the choices I have made while dealing with the circumstances around me.  My kids learned to hate that phrase, and it is still one that I use often.



Dear nameless counselor, wherever you are, I will always be grateful for that one question which made me understand that you always have a choice.  






Permalink | Monday, October 17, 2016