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Carol H Tucker
Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
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“Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
Today is the 2nd day of the 34th week [did you know that technically some years have 53 weeks in them?], the 22nd day of the 8th month, the 235th day of 2016, and: - National Be an Angel Day
- National Eat a Peach Day
- National Pecan Torte Day
- National Tooth Fairy Day
- Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day [On this winter day, people go out at noon, wave their hands over their heads and chant "Hoodie-Hoo". It is a day to chase away winter blahs, and bring in spring. In the northern hemisphere it is usually on February 20th]
- Take Your Cat To The Vet Day
On this day, in 392 Arbogast had Eugenius elected Western Roman Emperor. In 565 the first reported sighting of a monster in Loch Ness, Scotland by Saint Columba [the patron-saint of the city of Derry]. In 1639 Madras (now Chennai) India, was founded by the British East India Company on a sliver of land bought from local Nayak rulers. In 1654 Jacob Barsimson, the first known Jewish immigrant to America, arrived in New Amsterdam. In 1770 James Cook named and landed on Possession Island, claiming the east coast of Australia for Britain as New South Wales. Although I usually avoid stories of war and disasters, in 1849 the first air raid in history was launched by Austria --pilotless balloons against the city of Venice. In 1864 12 nations [but four of them were later consolidated into Germany] signed the First Geneva Convention [which only had 10 articles]. In 1902 the Cadillac Motor Company was founded and US President Theodore Roosevelt became the first United States chief executive to ride in an automobile in public during a parade at Hartford, Connecticut, in a Columbia electric car. In 1950 Althea Gibson became the first black competitor in international tennis.
I was brought up with parents that believed in whupping – a step far beyond spanking. As a result, and because I bought into the idea that kids needed to be forced to do what was good for them, I too spanked my two kids. In fact, I had to ratchet that back because IMNSHO, I crossed the line between punishment and abuse, something I have talked about with both my son [who was the main sufferer as that brat knew exactly how to push Mom’s buttons] and my daughter. And I must say, neither of them turned out badly – I am very proud of both of them and we are still very much in touch.
My daughter and my son-in-law have opted to bring up their children very differently, as they have carefully explained to me because it is their expectation that I will abide by their wishes when their daughters are with me. Their decision [as I understand it] is based on two arguments: [1] you cannot teach children that it is wrong to hit others when you are hitting them, and [2] kids do not need to be forced, they need to be led.
Saturday I watched them implement their solution. It isn’t easy, but they did it. The 3year old had a meltdown over getting dressed. Mommy took over from Grandmom, then stopped and asked for Daddy’s help when she started to lose her own temper. Daddy took over, got his daughter’s attention, was able to get her to calm down by doing yoga breathing with her [had to do this twice], was able to forestall delaying tactics by counting, and got through the situation without losing his temper, and after 20 minutes, the little girl was dressed. Granted it took a while and my way would’ve been quicker, but the goal was accomplished without yelling or screaming or spanking and with the kid’s cooperation, albeit rather sullenly given, and the entire incident was forgotten Everybody moved on and there was no unpleasant, lingering residue of tension.
I was impressed.
No spanking is not the same as no discipline, neh? I think that the boundaries, and the difference between right and wrong, are being just as firmly established without the use of “the rod”.
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