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Carol H Tucker

Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan

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beladona Memorial

Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...

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only in dreams

Today is the 5th day of the 34th week, the 26th day of the 8th month, the 238th day of 2021 [with only 120 shopping days until Christmas], and: 
  • Make Your Own Luck Day
  • Musical Yoga Day
  • National Burger Day
  • National Cherry Popsicle Day
  • National Dog Day
  • National Toilet Paper Day: (Note: This is when it was first sold on a roll by Scott in 1871.  December 8, 1857 was when it was first sold 14 years earlier in the US by Joseph C. Gayetty and is Toilet Paper Appreciation Day.)
  • National WebMistress Day
  • Women's Equality Day - 101 years ago, women were finally allowed to vote
Quote of the day:

"Grief is like a stream running through our life, and it’s important to understand that it doesn’t go away. Our grief lasts a lifetime, but our relationship to it changes. Moving on is the period in which the knot of your grief is untied. It’s the time of renewal."

~  Martha Beck, “Elegy for Everything

I am not sleeping well these days and seldom get up feeling rested.  I am up and down two or three times during the night – potty calls and leg cramps – and sometimes have to lay listening to music or an audible book for what seems like a very long time before dozing back off.  But it’s the dreams that haunt me – the stories that play out, the music, and the number of times my “dearly departed” are coming back to interact with my dream self

My mother shows up now and then – usually I am very conscious of having failed at something and she is pretty judgmental about it, sometimes conveying her disapproval without a single word spoken.  No surprises there, just an ongoing sorrow that I never was able to connect with her on a very human level, and a concern of how my kids and granddaughters will remember me one day.  Frank shows up a lot, we do things together, but then it gets complicated, and I keep trying to explain things to him.  I always come away feeling vaguely guilty as he goes into “cop mode”.  No mystery there either, I have unresolved feelings even after 17 years about his waning days.  Once in a blue moon, my father strolls in and usually exits just as quickly.  Oddly enough, neither of my grandmothers have made an appearance yet, and I was very close to both of them.  Perhaps I don’t have any unconscious regrets about those relationships, or I have completed the grieving for them


I’ve always experienced vivid dreams even though I was never able to practice lucid dreaming.  Most of the people I interact with are unknown to me, but now I have the feeling that my dreams really are trying to tell me something, but what?
Permalink | Thursday, August 26, 2021