Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
Today is the 131st day of 2016 and the 10th day of the 5th month, and we are celebrating:
Dia De La Madre -- The first official Mothers’ Day celebration in Mexico was held on May 10, 1922. The celebration soon took on religious undertones, with images of the Madonna and Child being displayed on Mother’s Day
National Clean Up Your Room Day
National Lipid Day (Dyslipidemia)
National Shrimp Day
National Small Business Day
One Day Without Shoes Day
Sex Differences in Health Awareness Day
Trust Your Intuition Day
World Lupus Day
In 28 BCE, a sunspot was observed by Han dynasty astronomers during the reign of Emperor Cheng of Han, one of the earliest dated sunspot observations in China. In 1774 Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette became King and Queen of France [I have to say that didn’t work out so well for them….]. In 1869 the First Transcontinental Railroad, linking the eastern and western United States, was completed at Promontory Summit, Utah with the golden spike. In 1924 J. Edgar Hoover was appointed director of the federal Bureau of Investigation - the forerunner of the FBI - a job he held until his death in 1972. In 1960 the nuclear submarine USS Triton completed the first underwater circumnavigation of the earth.
Mothering.
This is something I have given a great deal of thought – especially around this time of year [for rather obvious reasons]. Very early on in my life I was determined to break the pattern of behavior that I saw on the maternal side of my family. I watched what Grandmom Riley [my mother’s mother] did to her daughters, I experienced what my mother did with me, and I was bound and determined that my daughter would not have to suffer the same expectations as I had. It was a painful process of change, and in the course of it, my mother and I became irrevocably estranged, but the two friends who have known me since my school days assure me that I managed to accomplish my goal. It meant that I raised both my kids without the benefit of a role model; as an only child I didn’t have much experience with kids so I was winging it. In their younger years, I relied somewhat on Grandmom Hughes [my father’s mother] for some support, but she died in 1982 when Tom was 9 and Gem was 5 [and I’m afraid that neither of them really remember “Grandmom Music”]. So I did the best that I could. Yes, I am informed that both she and Tom were afraid of me at times – for example, they were afraid of consequences if they had a melt-down as I was one to tell them if they kept crying, I would give them a reason to cry. And yes, if they pushed it, I gave them that reason. I don’t know any more whether or not it was the right thing to do -- both kids know I am truly proud of the adults they have become and my love for them is unconditional. At least they are both still speaking to me regularly and act like they enjoy my company!.
My daughter is doing the same thing that I did – trying to parent in a new way without a solid role model. Left with her Grandma at the age of 8, and relegated to “daughter days” and vacations with her mother, she is striving to do better with parenting for her daughters. She wants them to have more self-confidence, to feel better about their places in the world, and is raising them so that they will not have a reason to be afraid of their parents. I truly do respect my daughter’s desire to do things differently – and I admire the rapport she and her husband have with the girls. Like her mother before her, Gem just wants to do well by the two precious lives entrusted to their care..
I guess my conclusion is there is no one way to mother, no “right” way to raise your kids [as long as there isn’t mental or physical abuse] and if your child choses to parent differently than you did, that doesn’t mean you were “wrong” either. I think Gem and Craig are doing an outstanding job with all their hearts and know I will be just as proud of my granddaughters as I am of my son and daughter
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