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Carol H Tucker

Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan

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Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...

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good-by Panda [redux]

Today is the 2nd day of the 12th week, the 21st day of the 3rd month, the 1st full day of Spring, the 80th day of 2022, and: 
  • Act Happy Day
  • Gallo Wine Day
  • Independence Day – Namibia from South Africa 1990
  • International Color Day
  • International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination
  • International Day of Forests
  • Memory Day
  • National California Strawberry Day
  • National Common Courtesy Day
  • National Countdown Day
  • National Crunch Taco Day
  • National Day of Action on Syringe Exchange
  • National Flower Day
  • National Fragrance Day
  • National French Bread Day
  • National Healthy Fats Day
  • National Single Parents Day
  • National Teenager Day
  • National WELLderly Day
  • Naw-Ruz or Newroz – the Kurdish celebration of Spring and a New Year
  • Sytherin Pride Day
  • Twitter Day
  • World Down Syndrome Day
  • World Poetry Day
  • World Puppetry Day
Quote of the day:
"There are unheralded tipping points, a certain number of times that we will unlock the front door of an apartment. At some point you were closer to the last time than you were to the first time, and you didn’t even know it. You didn’t know that each time you passed the threshold you were saying good-bye."
~ Colson Whitehead, The Colossus of New York

It has been two weeks now since I left Panda’s limp little body at the vet’s, and I am still crying over her demise, still asking myself if we could’ve held on a little longer, if she could’ve gotten better.  Two weeks of reminding myself the vet didn’t know for certain it was the gall bladder, and even more importantly, didn’t know if the treatment would work if it was.  Two weeks of reminding myself how that last weekend she couldn’t even sleep and how relaxed she was once the pain was gone, from the shot they gave her before the final sleep was induced.  Two weeks of burning sage.

At first I started looking around for another cat, determined to assuage the hole in my heart, and then I realized I couldn’t possibly replace her.  Then I began to wonder about myself – I had to let Kula go after eight years, and altho I grieved, it wasn’t like this – was this deep grief symptom of some sort of deterioration or other issue?  My friend unknowingly answered that unspoken concern when she summed it up best, pointing out that during the pandemic, when I wasn’t leaving home at all, it was Panda who kept me company, kept me from being totally alone.  She wasn’t just a pet, she was my constant companion.

I will get another rescue cat, but will never replace Panda…
Permalink | Monday, March 21, 2022