Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
An article about the bonds of friendship floated past me this morning. The author was musing about the nature of the relationship we enter into when we make friends, and that got me to thinking…..
A few months ago, my daughter and I were talking about “doing things”. It was an idle conversation about upcoming events, and I happened to remark that I didn’t like going to the Renaissance Festival by myself now that she was not available, so I hadn’t been for years. She immediately asked why I didn’t get together with a friend and go, and when I shot down that idea, observed that I had “forgotten how to make friends.” Zinger that it was, she actually didn’t mean it to be, she worries a bit because I am alone, feels I spend too much time online, and ascribes my lack of friends to a lack of focus on “real life”. Months later, I am still turning that over in my head.
Do I have friends? Yes, a couple and I cherish them. I have a lot more folks that I am friendly with rather than actual friends though.
Have I had friends “divorce” me? Yes, there are those that have decided I no longer fit in with their lives and have moved on whether they announced it to me or just stopped communicating.
How did I go about making friends? You know, I honestly don’t know. Kinda sorta the same process that you end up romantically involved with someone neh? You get to talking to someone and start resonating with what is being shared. I have often described myself as an emotional empath on a sub-vocal level where a connection is forged while I am listening and learning to care. Trouble is? Sometimes that connection is not a two-way street, sometimes the person at the other end of the conduit is more interested in receiving interest and support than they are in participating in a yin-yang of mutual focus – which I guess is a nice way of saying that not everyone I find interesting is interested in me.
There are reams and reams of advice written on how to meet people and where to find folks that may be congenial. While I have followers in social media, contacts in my 2nd Life, and co-workers in “real life”, I haven’t made a new friend in a very long time. Maybe I am more introverted than I appear to be, because altho I am very good at making acquaintances and appearing friendly, making that step to actual friendship is like making the commitment to start dating – I just don’t know how to make that step, so maybe Gem was right. On the other hand, like the article I just mentioned, I am assuming that friendship is a closer bond than most people desire/need/want? Maybe I should put an ad in the “personals”? Wanted: someone for friendship who likes to talk, going to craft shows and festivals, eating sushi, and doing stuff now and then. Sense of humor a must, being slightly offbeat a plus. Give me a holler at…….
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