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Carol H Tucker

Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan

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beladona Memorial

Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...

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Day 36

Today is the 1st day of the 6th week, the 5th day of the 2nd month, and the 36th day of 2023 - which is a rather redundant comment, I guess, given the title of the post!

Today I ran across this quote, and it has me reflecting

Bertrand Russell, 'Portraits from Memory', on Growing Old:

"Psychologically there are two dangers to be guarded against in old age. One of these is undue absorption in the past. It does not do to live in memories, in regrets for the good old days, or in sadness about friends who are dead. One’s thoughts must be directed to the future, and to things about which there is something to be done. This is not always easy; one’s own past is a gradually increasing weight. It is easy to think to oneself that one’s emotions used to be more vivid than they are, and one’s mind more keen. If this is true it should be forgotten, and if it is forgotten it will probably not be true. The other thing to be avoided is clinging to youth in the hope of sucking vigour from its vitality. When your children are grown up they want to live their own lives, and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young, you are likely to become a burden to them, unless they are unusually callous. I do not mean that one should be without interest in them, but one’s interest should be contemplative and, if possible, philanthropic, but not unduly emotional. Animals become indifferent to their young as soon as their young can look after themselves, but human beings, owing to the length of infancy, find this difficult."

I remember my aunt calling my grandmother every single day after she moved out - sometimes they chatted for a few minutes, sometimes they talked for hour[s].  When i came back from Alaska and settled down with my 2nd husband, i did the same thing.  When Grandmom died, I tried calling my aunt a couple of days and she rather bluntly told me she wasn't going to have that kind of relationship with me.   When Frank died, for a couple of weeks when I was living alone, my daughter called every day - until she told me that was not something she really wanted to do anymore.  Over the years, I have come to accept that level of involvement is a relic of a bygone era, and my kids have reinforced their need to have their own, private lives without sharing everything with their mother.  Not to say we aren't close, but there are lines I do not cross, things I do not say, questions I do not ask [or only make the mistake of asking once]

Not what I planned to write about today, but that's what happens when you run across something that makes you think
Permalink | Sunday, February 5, 2023