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Carol H Tucker

Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan

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beladona Memorial

Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...

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Day 16

Today is the 2nd day of the 3rd week, the 16th day of the 1st month, the 16th day of 2023, and:
  • Appreciate a Dragon Day - created by an author to celebrate the publication of her book about dragons in literature
  • Blue Monday (( but they are all blue, unless like today, they are holidays and I have the day off!  But then that means tomorrow will be a Monday-masquerading-as-a-Tuesday ))
  • Book Publishers Day
  • Civil Service Day
  • Elementary School Teachers Day
  • International Hot and Spicy Food Day
  • Martin Luther King Jr Day
  • National Crowd Feed Day
  • National Day of Service
  • National Fig Newton Day
  • National Good Teen Day
  • National Nothing Day
  • National Pothole Day [UK]
  • National Quinoa Day
  • National Without a Scalpel Day -  a reminder to consider minimally invasive options before resorting to surgery
  • Prohibition Remembrance Day - on this day, 100 years ago, the US terminated the social experiment known as Prohibition.  Passed as the 18th Amendment to the Constitution in 1920, it was repealed by the 21st Amendment 
  • Psychiatric Technician's Day
  • Relgious Freedom Day - a newly proclaimed holiday  The date commemorates the Jefferson's Statute for Religious Freedom, which was adopted by the Virginia General Assembly on this date in 1786.  That statute was the basis for the establishment clause in the 1st Amendment in the Bill of Rights that guarantees freedom of religion for all in the US
  • Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day
  • Robert E Lee Day - only celebrated in Mississippi and Alabama, and yes, ironically, it is on the 3rd Monday with MLK day
  • Zeta Phi Beta Day
Quote of the day:
"Attention is the start of love. There can be no love without attention. In cultivating attention, we’re cultivating a possibility for intention and a possibility for connection."
~  Anne C. Klein, “Ritual as an Opening to Love

I live a 2nd life.  

I always have done so, ever since 3rd grade when I learned hot to completely immerse myself in books.  My body would stay in reality, but my mind and spirit were elsewhere, and sometimes I returned very reluctantly.  But "real life" has a way of insisting that you engage, at least sometimes, for if you don't work you don't eat, and there are vital relationships demanding even more of your time and attention.  I tried gaming and found games like MYST to be mind-boggling immersive.  And then, at the end of 2005, I created beladona Memorial and started wandering around in a new virutal world.  I gradually learned my way around, formed bonds with fellow denizens, and joined communities.  What I learned is that your heart, your feelings, do not differentiate between your 2nd and your RL - you can feel jvery deeply for someone you have only known online, altho of course you don't have a the same shared history you have with your RL friends, family, and community. 

There was a bit of a bruhaha online a few years back asking if married people who engaged in relationships in world, especially if there was pixel sex involved, were unfaithful to their RL spouses.  Actually, that issue even came up in a divorce case or two!  Some folks scoffed at the idea, but I thought there was a grain of truth to it.  I have always felt strongly that a person can genuinely love more that one person at a time, even be in love with more than one person, so the fact that a married person loved another didn't seem either that unusual or reprehensible as love is an infinite resource - it's more like a faucet flowing freely than a pie that you cut a piece of and give away, so no one is short-changed.  But relationships take more than just feelings, they take time and attetion, and both of those are finite resources.  There are only so many hours in the day.and so much attention you have to give, and so emotional bandwidth is definitely a finite resource.  If you are allocating your time and attention to your relationships in world, then you have taken that away from those you love and love you in RL.  And that may indeed damage those RL relationships with those who rely on you, and cause ruptures - or even worse 

Yes, I have a rich and full 2nd life, true, but RL come first - always.
Permalink | Monday, January 16, 2023