Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
This was a landmark birthday – she has lived longer than both of my grandmothers and beaten the statistics as well. According to this site [SOURCE:American Community Survey 2004] – Maryland ranks 28th in the country with 1.2% of the state's population falling in this category
But what does hitting that landmark birthday mean? She is old and wandering in her mind. I sent flowers, but did not call or write or go and see her. In fact? I haven’t seen the place where she was relocated a year ago. I haven’t seen her in two years [when the picture was taken], when I tried to go and visit. Before that? No contact since that horrible Thanksgiving weekend. Margaret has her POA and her affairs well in hand, and her kids stop by and see Aunt Pete now and then so I know she is being cared for, but I haven’t talked to Margaret since the transfer to Ivy Halls because Mom’s dementia and weight were becoming problematic. The memories I have of my mother throughout my life are all of her telling me in varying stages of fury that I was both inadequate and expendable. When she said that she was sorry that she listened to Frank and permitted me to have contact with her again, I broke.
It isn't that I hate her or that I don't realize that I am not being a loving and forgiving daughter. I don't know how to explain it other than the link is broken. "Mother" means to be the woman who stood still and slapped me again and again "because I would not listen". "Mother" means the woman who told me she wished she was childless, then didn't speak to me for 15 years. I am probably proving to her, the family, myself, the world that I am a very bad horrible person and I am probably accumulating karma at a vastly accelerated rate that will have to be paid .... But I just cannot reach out again.
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