Carol H Tucker Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
"Between what a man calls me and what he simply calls mine the line is difficult to draw. We feel and act about certain things that are ours very much as we feel and act about ourselves." — William James
Still noodling over the impact of having two "main" avatars in SL -- how that happened, why it got reinforced, if it is a problem.
Was going totally silent a good idea? I'll never know what would've happened if I had stayed more in touch, now will I? I do know that I coudln't have been quiet about somethings, that there would've been angst and recrimminations. Was it better to give them a clean start? Why does being left out of the history bother me, lost like I never existed? I need to put Merry on the timeline I think -- from March 2009 to June 2011, we chatted almost every day and about some pretty personal things, and now she is "just someone I knew once"
"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it." ~ Trey Parker, animator
Wrote a long post with my RL timeline for the past six+ years and got told by this application that it was too long! Great.... editing in process then -- maybe a two part post? Dunno right now.
In SL, two primary things affect your appearance -- shape and skin. Bela has always had her own shape, and has been very conservatively choosey about the skin that she uses for that reason. Originally she had brown eyes, switching to green about three years ago. Here is a shot of the different looks beladona has rocked: on the left is her own skin, in the middle is the skin that she wore for about three years, on the right is the current appearance for about two years now
Does she look like me when I was younger? I like to think so....
I know that I own mine, and therefore others own theirs. The previous picture showed bias in media reporting [post on historical facts pending], but how does the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves create perceptions?
trying out different timeline appliations: first one is xtimeline.com. Not bad, but why have me put in a start and end date if you aren't going to show it?
Beladona Memorial 12.04.05
B Revilo Partnered 09.16.06
B Revilo Unpartnered 09.26.06
B SamPartnered 09.03.07
Elona dayafter 10.09.07
Ndlovukazi Noyes 10.15.07
K collared by Kamtraike Dayafter 12.25.07
K submitted to Kam 04.26.08
K released 08.03.08
B Sam Unpartnered 09.19.08
bela Martian 10.10.08
K submitted to and collared by Searaven Raymaker 12.08.08
B Searaven Partnered 01.09.09
B Searaven Handfasted, 05.03.09
K branded 06.14.09 and named kala
K surrendered to and placed under Lucius' care as secondary owner 11.19.09
Mirabelle Mynx 02.08.10
Sahar Soulstar 02.10.10
K freed by Searaven 04.16.10
K submitted to and collared by Lucius Toxx 07.21.10 and named Ria
K released to Searaven 08.09.10 and named Rhia
Bela Enchanted 11.17.10
K renamed kala by Searaven 02.05.11
K released 03.06.11
K Submitted to and collared by Lucius Toxx 08.01.11 and named Kalah
Sahar Soulstar submitted to and collared by Aedan Trellis 08.05.11 and named Bella
B Searaven Unpartnered, 09.04.11
Merriweather Lyric 10.05.11
Pendragon Lyric 10.06.11
VanDyke Lyric 10.06.11
B submitted to and collared by Lucius Toxx 01.01.12
When Christmas is around the weekend, those of us who get federal holidays off enjoy having Boxing Day off as well! Next year? Christmas is on Tuesday, so both Christmas Eve and Boxing Day will be working days -- we will have to wait until 2015 for Christmas to be on Friday before enjoying quite the same level of relaxation....
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"
It was safe. I had a zip line attached. There was netting below me. And I was at WDW for crying outloud. But it was also about three stories up in the air, swaying, uneven, and the area below was infested with crocodiles. So in a situation like that, do you pay attention to anything else but your footing? The regular safari ride trucks were bumping along the road next to the river and enclosure and the folks were pointing and waving. I stopped and waved back, enjoying the feeling of goodwill and surprise. And then I turned to continue making my way to the end of the bridge. The picture was taken as I turned away and started moving again....
Somewhere in here is a metaphor begging to get out.
I stand by my choices and expect others to first acknowledge and then stand by their's as well. Nope, that train of thought -- letting go of agnst and refusing to entertain regrets -- doesn't really fit in here.
After seven years, maybe I need to let Frank rest. That one might work -- you know, moving on and all that -- but on this anniversary of his funeral it doesn't really feel apropos.
Something about having the nerve to venture off the beaten path? And still taking the time to look around and interact with the world and others? I chose to stop in the center of the span even tho the footing there was not the most secure, laughed and waved, then paid attention to where I was putting my feet. I was just being me.
*ponders*
Of course, it could be just a picture of a fun time on vacation, neh?
Quote of the day: "Today isn't Monday. It's a moment. A field of moments like a meadow of daisies. Every moment offers another chance to get present and choose love instead of fear. As you answer emails, go to the doctor, pick up the children: practice breathing in a new moment with new and infinite possibilities that exceed your mind's limitations. It's not Monday. It's a stream of chances to be alive." ~ Tama Kieves
This is a holiday that can be tough for those who do not have a Norman Rockwell family.... There is much to be thankful for, to remember the good times....
For some time I observed relationships online and in world both from an outsider perspective [listening to others talk about their experiences] and from an insider perspective [dating, collared, partnered, handfasted]. The one common element appears to be "speed", the rapidity with which people become attached, and then become deeply involved.
That "online" time is vastly accelerated is generally accpeted. This means that you start talking to someone, and it rapidly progresses to intimate conversations, dating and maybe even cybersex. Of course once you have had some level of intimacy, whether conversation or cyber, then you find yourself with the rush of an emotional investment. It is heady stuff, this rush. Your 2nd Life seems more attractive, the person that you are with seems more attractive, you feel more vital and everything is just right and wonderful.
Then you start craving that rush, that affirmation again. Talking and sexing isn't quite enough so control comes into the play -- you start scening. Immediately the emotional intensity increases and you feel the thrill of the rush again and all is well with you and yours. The next step is to formalize the control and Power Exchange -- just taking and giving it is no longer enough to give you the thrill. So you go through submission and collaring and you feel the rush again.
What are the next steps? Somewhere in here you start moving into a full LDR to tighten the bond and keep the rush happening. You email, IM, text, SKYPE and call. You join other worlds and/or forums and proclaim that you are together. More and more is needed to feel the rush -- Long gushy picks on the profiles. Partnering and/or marrying, ceremonies taking vows and making promises to love and cherish and be together. All the time, feeding the need for the emotional rush, the addiction that used to be called "being in love with love".
And then suddenly? There is no more "rush". There is just dealing with the relationship, with choices, with conflicting priorities, with being left to your own devices -- it is depressingly like the kind of issues you face in what we laughingly call "RL". Is it enough? Do you really want to do this? And then you have a choice -- stay the course or seek for the rush again. Cue the drama!
Is there anything wrong with being in relationships because you crave the rush? Absolutely not. Like any other kink, if that is your thing, have at it.
Is this true of every realtionship? Absolutely not. But look around you, at the people flickering in and out of collars and partnerships -- it is true of a lot of them.
Just be aware of the level of emotional investment you make and to whom -- you don't want to fall in love with someone who is with you to feed their need for the rush. Unfortunately there is no auto-return on hearts in SL, so beware.
Father Dwight annoys me sometimes, but he always makes me think. This post was one of those that stopped me in my tracks -- do I accept the responsibility for what happens in my life or do I seek to be a victim?
Another blog post that is making me think is from Pick the Brain. The quotes she uses in her 10 points is worth the read -- they articulate what I am processing.
I will miss intensely the feeling of having a "dearest friend", but I will move on, maybe not as quickly, but as inevitably.
Quote of the day: “The universe is made of stories, not atoms.” ~ Mariel Rukeyser
Every relationship, every journey is a story -- the one that you tell, the one that s/he tells, the one that can be seen from the outside. Sometimes the stories do not match. When the dissonance becomes too great, the relationship or journey cannot continue.
Time can never mend, The careless whispers of a good friend
CEOExpress
