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Carol H Tucker
Passionate about knowledge management and organizational development, expert in loan servicing, virtual world denizen and community facilitator, and a DISNEY fan
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beladona Memorial
Be warned:in this very rich environment where you can immerse yourself so completely, your emotions will become engaged -- and not everyone is cognizant of that. Among the many excellent features of SL, there is no auto-return on hearts, so be wary of where your's wanders...
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after all these years...
Today is the 2nd day of the 51st week, the 17th day of the 12th month, the 351st day of 2018 [and if you are still counting the shopping days befoe Christmas I wish you luck], and: - A Christmas Carol Day (Story) -- in 1843, Charles Dickens' classic story “A Christmas Carol” is published
- Clean Air Day
- National Maple Syrup Day
- Pan American Aviation Day
- Wright Brothers Day -- the first successful flight of a mechanically propelled and heavier-than-air airplane. This feat was reached by Orville and Wilbur Wright in 1903, at a spot about five miles south of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, in what is now the town of Kill Devil Hills, on the Atlantic Coast.
Yes it has been very quiet in here
Yes it is a bad sign when I go quiet
Over the past decade, I have been doing a lot of reading about grief, about the process of coming to terms with loss. It dovetailed nicely with my ongoing interest about the impact of change in individual lives, in the stories of organizations, in the progress [or lack thereof depending on your point of view] of society. I even went and talked to a counselor about the stages of grieving as my family and friends became increasingly concerned that I was not “getting over” losing my husband that Thursday, December 16th, 2004. Frank was 12 years older than I and had been ill for almost seven years when he died, so I can’t say that I was completely surprised to find myself a widow, but I was totally unprepared for the shock – perhaps there is no way to steel oneself against loss.
Over the years, although I have taken lovers, and have loved and been loved, I have not settled back down into a permanent relationship and I have to admit that has caused me [and my friends] some mild surprise. I hadn’t expected to detest the dating game quite so much, hadn’t realized that most men around my age are looking for women much younger, hadn’t stopped and thought about knowing so many folks online that were actually part and parcel of a different generation. Of late I have begun to wonder why that should be so, and it has only been this year that I have finally realized the answer. You see, I never once questioned that Frank loved me. I don’t think I took him for granted, but the fact that he was deeply emotionally attached to me, protective of my welfare, and found me sexually attractive, was a constant for 20 years. He accepted me exactly as I am, without trying to change me, without conditions. In the intervening 14 years, I have not found that bedrock surety again. I ask myself at times if I truly appreciated it enough when Frank was living, I ask myself if perhaps I have not offered the same to the other relationships, not made others feel loved – I’m working on that. So I miss Frank, his humor, his very being, his presence in my life and I find tears pricking my eyelids even after all this time, and I really have to work hard to be in a holiday spirit….
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